When you live the life of a hermit, communication skills generally become rather rudimentary. Mine usually ride the range of technology. I feel safe in the world of black and white blinking cursors. There, things are black and white. What I write is what I mean. If there is a suggestion of something deeper, it can be uncovered in the permanent pages. Face to face conversations, and (god forbid!) phone calls, make my life a living hell. Suddenly body language can tell a story that contrasts tone of voice. You can lose yourself not only in the juxtaposition of contradictions, but you may also lose the tried and true signs of attraction—signs which I recently sleuthed the Internet for. (A bit ridiculous? I was desperate. And I flirt like a broken faucet.)
I should have a button that says, “Don’t talk to me. I’m Awkward.” Someone better watch out.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Season 4 i: The Meet...Cute? It Was Anything But

Setting: Room 222, Logan High School, English office, the end of first semester.
Ann was showing him around, reintroducing him to the building and to the department. I had my glasses off, probably looked a wreck, shook his hand and didn’t take a careful inventory. My mistake. I was the new teacher, caught up in the hectic schedule Ann quickly spilled on him in those first moments. I am sure he was thinking “Who the heck is this chick, and why should I care?” (Maybe not. I am a stellar projector.) And that’s where it began. A quick introduction, some uninspired conversation and a complete lack of wit. Talk about a lasting impression! I suppose that’s what you get when meeting people becomes less organic. I couldn’t primp and press myself into my best version. He got the sloppy, end of day dregs. 
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