Season 4 xii: Making it Known

Setting: Logan, English Office, Room 202.

I am okay keeping "IT" on the DL. I don't know what IT is, and keeping IT secret almost makes IT seem more real. But he burst the bubble on that one. He is letting outsiders in. They will know that something is up. I don't like it.

Most of the clues were subtle. He drew attention to the fact that he had found my car in the lot...parked to the front because I didn't have to teach my morning classes. Then he brought up music. Harmless except he was reacting to a boredom email I had sent at the end of second hour. And then there was the beginning of seventh hour. He walked through my room. Not abnormal. Most of the staff do this since my room is directly off the office. However, this time he carried on a conversation with Tony as he walked through. I was busy, doing who knows what, and didn't really tune into his conversation. Apparently Tony said he didn't care about whatever it was Mr. Season IV (I started to type his name! But it's too soon.) was griping about. To which Mr. Season IV directly addressed me with, "But Ms. Feldkamp always cares about how I feel." In front of my students. In front of the staff. With the door open to the office for everyone in there to hear. Harmless. Yet, to me, he was letting something slip. And I am not sure I am ready to let go of this secret.

If only it had ended there. But no, he kept chatting as he walked into the office. I was getting ready for class, and followed him in, grabbed a couple things and headed back out the door. Wrong move. Apparently he had been talking to me about rolling his ankle while he was running. I thought Ann was at her desk. I couldn't see. I just assumed. But, holy heck, did he need to make it known that I hadn't been listening to him and that he had been talking to me. And, when I asked him to repeat himself because I thought Ann was his audience, he clammed up and pretended he didn't need to tell me anymore. He even made it a bigger deal by saying that he needed to get work done and that I should go to class, shut the door and stop distracting him. Right, like it is my fault he talks to me! And then Kelly chimed in, joking about his role in his own distractions. I thought she had been out of the office, but again I was wrong. Whatever transpired between Mr. IV and me was not casual. It was a little flirty, but more than anything, it spoke to a relationship that was more than work friends. It could have been misconstrued as simply friendly, but after catching the looks between us during Wednesday's meeting, I can't help but wonder if Kelly might not think that something is up.

And then there was Ann's comment. Again, it should have been harmless--should have been. But, during lunch, he asked her if she wanted to meet his parents tonight. They are in town and want to meet someone who has been so influential in their son's education and future career. Ann immediately turned him down and offered me up in her place. She posed it as a joke: "You should take Alysha instead. She can pretend to be me." My head immediately began to roll with the thought of meeting his parents. I can say with utter honesty, meeting them as an Ann stand-in never would have crossed my mind if I ever even thought about meeting them. He laughed it off, but I can't help wondering what went through his mind when she said that.

We didn't talk much the rest of the day. But, the second we had the office alone eighth hour he spun around in his chair and sat, watching me. I don't get it. He complains about not getting his work done, but mocks me when I try to focus and tune him out. And then he pulls one of his stunts to get my attention. I can't tell if it's a game, avoidance or interest, and I am too chicken shit to draw the line and make him face it.

Verdict's out: Has the cat been let out of the bag?